Black moon

Where to begin…?!
Today is New Moon or ‘Black moon’.
Usually a day for sleeping in and skipping asana practice for the day under the usual ‘Ashtanga system laws’.

I decided to open up Aditi Yoga Centre, there were two students eager to come so how could I say no.
This is not about me.
New moon = varied practice, a good time to try straying off the sequence…hip opening postures are a very good idea.
So, following a few usual sun salutations, variations of that and some standing postures, I find myself in Eka Pada Kapotasana  (Pigeon).
I know the right side is going to be the challenge so I save the best till last.
Not long in and the sensation rises, the deep gravelly, gritty, tarmac type sensation that makes ‘me’ want to squirm and come out.
It’s not pain, it’s just a sensation coming.
But what is that?
What is it?
So I go there.

It’s dark and it’s not pretty and it’s holding me down.
It’s stuck and it’s stagnant.
It’s not helping me move up.
It’s not encouraging me to expand.
All the time I’m breathing, breathing, breathing… looking right at it.
I hold my hands up.
You’ve got to surrender.

There’s nothing on this earth that is bigger than you if you just bow down to it.
So once you see it.
Give in.
Then tell it to leave!
Why keep it?
What’s it there for except to hold you back?
Don’t you know who you are?
Don’t you see how amazing you are?
Come on!
Aren’t you sick of being stuck in this cycle?
Of feeling useless and scared?
Stop supporting that.
It’s not mean and nasty, it’s just how it is.
See your ugliness.
This is not just about a yoga position.
Stop preventing.
Start living.


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