Writers Block

3 weeks ago I was sitting in my Mum’s kitchen explaining to her the reason we practice ‘Binding, Breathing and Lifting’ at the end of the Ashtanga sequence.
My Mum listened with interest as I likened each to a metaphorical action that can be practiced both on and off the mat…
Baddha Padmāsana, ‘Bound Lotus’; sealing your practice into the body memory.
Padmāsana, ‘Lotus’; the stillness and contentment we are walking towards on the mat over each daily practice and indeed over a lifetime of practice…
Lastly, Utplutiḥ, ‘Lift’; I related this to the letting go, the act of non-attachment that we must also appreciate in the end if we are to find peace and freedom in this lifetime.
Each of these 3 poses are so important and powerful in my eyes, that as a teacher I am sure to teach them even on a students first class.
As I talked more to my Mum about the closing of the practice I was reminded of what it’s all about and felt grateful to have that place to BE each day.
Then, such is life…. the next day began the unfolding of a series of events causing huge waves in my life.
Emotional, physical, mental, spiritual….
I was asked to deal with a myriad of experiences; mass public exposure… judgement… criticism… death… new life… and LOVE.
Oh my, here comes the emotional roller coaster that in theory is easy to deal with if you’re making the effort daily to be a balanced individual.
IN THEORY – yes!
Over the past 3 weeks as I’ve settled in to Padmāsana, ‘Lotus’ after a challenging 2 hours of the physical practice of yoga, I am reminded of that conversation with my mother…
Exposed is the only word I have to describe the feelings I have been having.

I believe this practice has the ability to transform even the most unhinged, unstable, stressed out humans amongst us.
That said, it takes time, practice and a lot less theory than you might think.
In fact, as I sat there and allowed whatever to come – to come… tears, laughter, fear, joy… It was intense but I felt freer than ever before.
My mind wasn’t saying ‘NO‘ ~ instead it was quiet and just watching ‘myself’ respond.
There is no controlling what happens to us off the mat.
Likewise, there is no controlling how we feel when it’s our moment to respond to life’s ripples or tidal waves.
In the end the thing we can have a say in – is how we respond to our response!
Eh?! I know, I am trying to ‘explain’ the unexplainable ~ nothing new there then!

Sitting and watching this process has been enlightening in itself.
Just to watch and see how ‘I’ respond.
Had I resisted any of this, I would not be truly living, I would be holding back the flow of life and ultimately causing more pain.
I am under no illusion I am not the only one going through emotional tsunamis like this, hence my desire to share this with you today…

Whatever it is, don’t resist it. Watch it. FEEL it. Get right into it and let yourself be EXPOSED.
By letting this crazy life unfold, letting the scary stuff *happen*, letting the LOVE IN – this is how you break those uncomfortable cycles that keep repeating themselves in your life.
I could win a gold medal for using loud music, driving fast in my car and talking it out as ways to avoid just sitting in it and feeling it.
By not doing these things (when it really matters) we can see what’s true and how we can experience more in this life.
That’s not to say turn the music down, drive slow and stop talking!!! Do those things too, just remember – always remember to stop and feel for a second.
Breaking the cycles that don’t serve you anymore is simple and at your finger tips.
Experience is just a heartbeat away.
Don’t waste your time avoiding it.
Be exposed, fall in love, feel pain, feel uncomfortable…
*Jump in*

I am hoping this blog has finally broken the writers block that has been hanging over me these past few weeks.
I was scared of what I was feeling in Padmāsana, ‘Lotus’ and so the blog was a scary place for me to go since I cannot lie here… I just can’t!!!
I was thinking I should wait until the storms pass. Hahaha!
… Tomorrow morning I fly to Costa Rica where I will be for 6 months… things are not slowing down!
The seas are still churning in my belly and I don’t want to hide anymore.
It appears I am scared of many things… life, death, love, hate, regret, greed….
Hello Susan. Life is happening. Get on with it. Stop waiting for it to ‘calm down’ so you can write better.
Here’s some snap shots of what’s been going down in my world.
Make of it what you want – Thanks to (being exposed and torn apart in) The Daily Mail, I don’t think I care anymore.
MORE SOON ~ From the jungle!
PS – Drink your green juice, sleep well, practice yoga, listen to great music, serve yourself, then serve others, feel the love. You know what I mean.
PPS – YouTubes are on the way I promise 😉

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One thought on “Writers Block

  1. Adam says:

    Wow, in the paper, but not nice by the sounds of it! People will mock what they can’t understand, fear or are jealous of. But what will they ever achieve that’s worthwhile in their own lives? Have a great time away.

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